“Self-hatred refers to an extreme dislike or hatred of oneself, or being angry at or even prejudiced against oneself. The term is also used to designate a dislike or hatred of a group, family, social class, or stereotype to which one belongs and/or has.” Wikipedia
When I read this definition I basically saw myself, I have felt like this for most of my life and have become depressed as a result of it. What I am trying to figure out though is why we become like this, What Causes us to Struggle with Self Acceptance and Self Love?
“The child tends to take on the anger, fear, self-hatred, in fact, the whole complex of emotions the parent is experiencing “ Psychalive.org
Upbringing plays a major role, if you are brought up in an environment were your parents or family has low self esteem you are more likely to pick it up and continue the cycle. Both my parents had poor self esteem and it affected me very negatively so I understand how my issues began.
How does Self hatred negatively affect you? Aside from not liking yourself you become very Hard on yourself, seeking unachievable perfection from everything you do. We also Feel like we have nothing to offer especially in Group situations, we Feel Worthless. We develop Anger issues that stem from suppressed hurt and issues we have with ourselves. Lastly it’s the People pleasing struggle that comes from wanting other people to like us and feel gaps that we have created for ourselves because of our inability to accept ourselves.
Now as someone who has struggled with this, I relate to all of the above and understand that everyone has their own personal struggles that stem from a low self esteem. That being said, How Do We Overcome Self Loathing?
“You Accept Yourself because to Live is to Accept our Realities” – A cry for help
We cant run away from our reality and change our upbringing, it is what it is. We can either make peace with it or live in denial. Forgive yourself and those who have hurt you, it is easier said than done for most but it is a necessary step to moving forward.
“Try to exert small kindnesses toward yourself — acknowledge when you are feeling bad and comfort yourself as you would a good friend” xojane.com
We have to learn to Love Ourselves, this means treating ourselves with respect and compassion. We are Uniquely made to stand out as we are and we are deserving of love and happiness, those very things we loathe about ourselves are what make us special and unique.