You’re not always the Victim


There are times in life when we have to admit when we are wrong because it is easy to go around pointing the blame on other people but when do you look at the mirror and see the error of your ways.

“Life does not just happen to us without our consent every problem that we encounter in our lives is an opportunity for us to learn and grow.”

-A Cry For Help

I grew up blaming my parents’s separation as the reason for my rebellion and outrageous behaviour. Parents are not perfect, they make mistakes and they  do the best they can to raise you, after you become an adult you have to take some ownership of your actions.

The same goes for conflict in your relationships with other people, you have to look at yourself and ask what you have done to co-create the rising tension between you and the other person.

Life does not just happen to us without our consent every problem that we encounter in our lives is an opportunity for us to learn and grow.  There are tragedies and things that are beyond our control but there are problems that we bring upon ourselves that we do have to take accountability for.

I think Accountability is the definition of Growing up, when you realise that you are responsible for your life and that your choices will have consequences. We live and we learn and we will be doing that our entire lives.

To my fellow Millenials out there,  we  are not always the victims sometimes we are the perpetrator  so lets own that and live a life of accountability. There is  something humbling about  confronting  your  Character flaws. It’s a part of Self Acceptance and an opportunity to learn and grow.

Remember this Today


Remember to breathe

Take a minute to soak in what is happening around you

Your feelings/ Mood will match your experiences today

You will get through whatever you are facing right now

Don’t force anything that is blocked from you, instead go with the flow

You are still an amazing unique Person

Everyone around you is struggling with insecurities as well

This day will end and everything happening now will be a memory

Relax you are perfectly fine the way you are

Sometimes plans don’t work out & thats ok.


In our final year in University a Lecturer asked us where we see ourselves in 5 years . Nearly everyone saw themselves prospering at something they love.

Fast forward to 5 years after University and my life is nothing I thought it would be, I did not find myself prospering at my desired career. Instead I graduated from University and found myself struggling to find a solid job. I was doing low paying freelance gigs and barely getting by.  I felt like such a failure because I had not lived up to my expectations.

I saw my peers prosper and get ahead in their fields whilst I struggled to find stability in my chosen field. I became really depressed to the point were I stopped caring about my wellbeing, I went out a lot and used a lot of recreational drugs.  I wanted to die than accept that my life had come to this reality. It dawned on me that my depression does not come from my struggles, it came from my perception of my reality.

“To resist reality is to resist life and when you resist life you start to die slowly inside”

—A Cry For Help

Life will not always go as planned, we can resist our reality or learn to deal with our ordeal. Maybe like me you are in your late twenties and your life has not gone the way you thought it would.

There is no special age for having your shit together, I think that society created this order of life that we all have to follow and when our lives fall out of that order  we feel like there is something wrong with us. There is nothing wrong with you if you are unmarried at 30.  It is not wrong to be broke at 28 because you are not making enough money. There is no shame in moving back home at 33 because your business did not make it and your Marriage did not survive.

Life happens, sometimes things do not work out, you  have to pick yourself up and keep it moving. You cant torture yourself about what other people will think about your struggles because, those people have their own problems. Everyone wears a facade that makes them seem to have it all together when in fact they have worries and concerns like the rest of us.

“Do you ever notice how when you greet people, most people always say they are doing well, no one ever says I’m not fine”

—A Cry For Help

The point I’m making is that we are gonna have a lot of disappointments in life and if we cant even cope with were  we are at this moment then life will be incredibly hard.

At the end all we can do is make peace with the way things are and do our best to better our lives. This is life and we are living it the best we can.  Our struggles are an indication that we are living because if we were not faced with difficulty then it would mean that we haven’t tried to accomplish anything  at all.

Cheer up and live your life because life is not about the destination its about our experiences right now. What ever you are facing today in this very moment, that is life. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you have to find joy in your experiences today.